The Single Most Important Lesson of Leadership

I remember being hired to lead a men’s retreat some years ago. I traveled to a part of the country had I had not been in for quite some time and ran into problems right away. It is going to be cold in the meeting room was unheated. The staff was resistant to making a change. “We’ve always done it this way.” I wanted to change the layout of how the facility was going to be used to one where the workshop was going to be done in a heated room.

I directed people to make a change. I made that mistake. I didn’t ask for input. I told him what I wanted. I managed them. I did not lead them.

I didn’t ask them what the effect of the workshop would be if the attendees were being asked to be in the building where the temperature might get to 40°. I didn’t ask them if they would want to attend a workshop under those conditions and whether they would develop resistance if they did.

No, I told him I wanted to make a change and they did grudgingly.

It all turned out well and the staff turned a corner pretty early on after the attendees started to arrive. But I made the mistake of creating an adversarial relationship with them, rather than engaging them in the thought process that would lead them to the same conclusion I had already arrived at.