The Original F Word

If you’ve ever been at work and someone walks over to you and asks, “Can I give you some feedback,” you have heard the F word loud and clear.

After all, your back becomes straighter, you wall yourself off from what you’re being told, and believe that knife is going to be deposited straight into your heart.

That’s what we hear when someone asks us whether we are open to feedback.

No one is ever trained to give feedback and we wonder why it hurts so much when we get it.

If you want to learn how to give feedback (criticism designed to help someone improve), you need to learn how to start giving praise, too.

The reason why we bristle at the idea feedback is we come to associate it with criticism.

Learn to praise.

“Can I give you some feedback,” you might start. Then tell them specifically what you liked about something that they did.

“I noticed how much effort you put into that last assignment. Thank you. It made a difference.” Stay there and listen to what they say. Smile as you listen. If they ask if there’s anything else, tell them there isn’t and walk away.

Praise and compliments should be on a 3 to 1 ratio.