Don’t Be a Yenta

In Yiddish, a yenta is a woman who gossips. In more modern times, I think we recognize that being a gossip is not just something unique to women. Men gossip, too.

There is a lovely story about a man who had this problem of talking about other people way too much. That’s because he was in business and would hear stories from his customers about other people but had the bad habit of sharing what he heard all the time.

One day, he heard something strange but true about another businessman in town and, as was his habit, you start to share what he heard with others. The story started to go around town until no one would deal with the other businessman. That man went to see the rabbi and cried because he was ruined. No one would talk to him or deal with them anymore.

The rabbi starts to reach out amongst the people in his community and, of course, to the man who is the subject of our story. He admitted that he had shared what he had heard but had not considered it would be a problem. After all, the story was true!

When the man heard about the effect upon the person he had gossiped about, he felt genuine remorse. He had not considered that sharing what he heard might hurt the other man.

The rabbi explained that whether it was true or not was irrelevant. You kill a man’s reputation when you talk about him. It is a form…